Most of my youth, up until eighteen, was spent on the road. I was looking for the others. Not books about the others, the others themselves. I found them in kitchens and back rooms and conference halls in a dozen states, from the Gulf coast up through Appalachia, across to the desert southwest, and home again. Every meeting added a word to a vocabulary I did not yet know I was assembling.
A pattern followed me across those miles that I could not explain at the time. In gas stations, at counters, in airport terminals, in the back rows of gatherings, strangers would catch my eye, hold it a beat longer than politeness allows, and then offer something: a ride, a meal, a place to sleep. More often than not they would go further, lowering their voice and telling me a secret they had never told anyone, or a piece of a teaching they had carried alone and needed to hand to someone. I learned later that this is an old motif. The ones marked by the Dark Mother carry a resonance that others feel without knowing why, and the world arranges aid around them. I did not earn it. I received it, and the Library doubled in every city.
At eighteen I was initiated as a High Priest of the Greater Church of Lucifer at a gathering in Old Town Spring, Texas. The Greater Church of Lucifer was founded in 2013 under the joint leadership of four heads: Michael W. Ford, Hope Marie Ford, Jeremy Crow, and Jacob No. Its public temple would open on the eve of Samhain, October 30 of 2015. My initiation took place during that formative window, in the Houston-suburb circle that became the first openly Luciferian temple in the United States. I stood in the same room with all four of them and watched the Left Hand Path in America name itself out loud.
The temple in Old Town Spring was forced to close in 2016 under the weight of local hostility. The order continued under its new name, Assembly of Light Bearers. The current did not dissipate. It moved. Some of us moved with it.